小学生经典笑话 作文
小学生经典笑话 从小到大的搞笑记录，希望能给大家带来一点欢笑，如果还行，大家顶起，我再接再励，带给大家更多的快乐。 1、我两岁时，家里养了头大肥猪，我最大的嗜好就是骑猪，一下猪背就嚎啕大哭。怕我摔伤，爸专门发明了一种类似马鞍的东西供我使用。称之为猪鞍。我在猪背上的最长记录是五个小时，包括睡觉。母亲生气时就骂我是猪生的。
2、刚学会叫妈那会儿，家门口来了个推着车卖蛋糕的阿姨。我摇摇晃晃的走过去，先是看着篮子里的蛋糕流了半天涎水，然后望着那个阿姨奶声奶气地叫了声妈，结果我得到一块免费蛋糕。
3、我人生的第一个愿望就是：有一天能不穿开裆裤。
4、看课外书时，发现古代帝王出生时候都有异相伴随，比如刘邦出生就有红光照耀。于是我缠着妈，问我出生时候有何非常之处，妈实在不耐烦了，叹口气说：“是有点怪，你刚生下来，你爸出门就崴了脚，我做月子还要照顾你父子俩，哎，命苦！”我大失所望。
5、大概小学二年纪的时候，看着姐姐穿着裙子在风里蝴蝶一样飘来飘去。我羡慕的要死，死缠着妈也要穿裙子，并以不上学要挟。妈无奈，只好翻出一件姐姐的旧裙子给我套上。如愿以偿的我穿着花边绿裙子在学校里到处显摆，极度满足的心情绝对不亚于现在一身名牌西装出席晚宴。
6、小学时代最勇敢的事情是：发现分数还没自己高的同学竟然拿到了奖状，于是，一口气跑回学校，把成绩单望校长办公桌上一拍，怒气冲天地责问校长 ：“为什么我没有奖状。”校长一脸无奈，好不容易从从柜子深处抽出一张泛黄的奖状写上了我的名字。
7、第一次花钱,妈给我20块钱，我去镇上买了一条9块钱的皮带，第一次购物，异常激动，一路狂奔到家，才发现卖皮带的家伙就找回我一块钱。
8、开学报名了，父亲给了我一张百元整钞。第一次拿这么大面值的钱，兴奋啊！一路上兴高采烈，把手中的废纸撕成碎片抛向空中，纸花在风中飘散，真好看。来到学校，一摸口袋，百元大钞不易而飞。连忙原路返回，细细寻觅。直到校门口，看到语文老师手里捏着一瓣伟人头叹气：“哎，现在的人真有钱，没事撕钱玩啊”！
9、因为感冒发烧，母亲带我去看村里的医生。医生说要打针，我撒腿就跑，母亲在后面追，不知道绕村子跑了多少圈，晚上回到家，妈惊奇地发现，我的感冒神奇痊愈！
10、一个电闪雷鸣的早上，我养了一年多的大白兔竟然无故而亡。悲痛欲绝的我紧急招集所有玩伴，为小白兔召开了沉痛而庄严的追悼会。会议规定：所有的伙伴要掉三滴以上的眼泪。
11、 家里养了只小白猫，我特别喜欢追着它玩。它进屋，我追到屋，它蹿到二楼，我也蹿到二楼，它从二楼蹦到院中，我也跟着飞了下去。此后差不多三个月时间我是在医院度过。
12、因为我是老小，家里长辈经常对我偏吃偏喝，大我两岁的姐姐为此愤愤不平。她最常用的报复就是捉迷藏。我每次都被蒙上眼睛当魔鬼，她就悄无声息地躲在一边等我撞树。而且我乐此不彼。
13、姐幼时挑食，母亲求的一偏方：取活壁虎一只，鲜鸡蛋一枚，在鸡蛋上挖孔，将壁虎灌入其中，然后蒸熟鸡蛋食之，即可治愈。母亲如法炮制，姐早有所闻，宁死不吃。妈无奈，交于我。我食之，咂吧着嘴问曰：“这个鸡蛋里面怎么有骨头啊？
14、爸给了5块钱，让我和姐姐一起去买作业本，不管姐怎么哄我，我都要自己揣着钱。后来，姐说：“钱我拿着，等一下买了作业本你拿。”我高兴的把钱交到姐手上。
一个小笑话作文
[一个小笑话作文]
今天我们在科学课上,蒋老师说：“一杯水的溶盐量是有限还是无限的?” 这个问题我们早研究过了,还做了实验,所以几乎所有的人都回答：“有限,一个小笑话作文.”但只有一个人例外,他就是我的同桌.老师问他为什么,他说别人告诉他.老师又问谁告诉他的,他又说他后代告诉他的.“哈哈哈”,“嘻嘻嘻”,同学们都笑成一团了,小学四年级作文《一个小笑话作文》.蒋老师也轻轻地笑了.过了好一会,蒋老师才把这场可笑的风波停止了.我又打趣地问：“你的后代几岁?”他说：“零岁的零岁的零岁.”我又问到底几岁.他回答不上来,只好眼睛瞪着我.我见了也不再追问了.一个小笑话作文200字小学生作文（/）
求一些六年级小学生易懂的英语小笑话,要短一点
要几个笑话,不超过5个,要容易背的,合起来的时间不超过1分半钟【小学生幽默笑话】
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人.
-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人.
A three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl"s hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we"re not one or two years old!"
一个三岁小男孩拉着一个三岁小女孩的手说：“我爱你.”小女孩说：“你能为我的未来负责吗?”小男孩说：“当然能,我们都不是一两岁的人了!
求英语笑话,小学水平的,没有生词的,
2,3分钟的,不要太简单,至少十句话,也不要超过20句
1)TOM"S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行."
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim"s name:"I can"t bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim"s name:"I can"t bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴.汤米回来后,妈妈问他,“你买的是好用的火柴吗?”
“是的,妈妈.”汤米回答,“我把它们都试过了.”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀,我刚才违规右转弯了.
苏西：没事,爸,跟在你后面的警察也这么转了.
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆.”他回答说.“你真是一个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口.”伊凡说.
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说,“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里.”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.
老师：请说说看.
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.
小学五年级英语春节小诗歌,小故事,笑话【小学生幽默笑话】
The Dog And The Shadow 狗和它的影子
A DOG,crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth,saw his own shadow in the water,and took it for that of another Dog,with a piece of meat double his own in size.He therefore let go his own,and fiercely attacked the other Dog,to get his larger piece from him.He thus lost both:that which he grasped at in the water,because it was a shadow; and his own,because the stream swept it away.
一条狗嘴里叼块肉,来到一座桥上.它看见水里有自己的影子,以为是另一条嘴里也叼着一块比自己那块肉大一倍的狗.它忙丢下自己嘴里的那块肉,猛力地攻击水里的狗.试图去抢它的肉.结果,它两块肉都得不到.因为那只是一个影子,它自己的影子而已.真正的肉也被水冲走了.
Which do you find more important,money or friends?
B:Friends,of course.
A:Why?
B:I can always borrow money from friends.
钱和朋友
甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要?
乙：当然是朋友.
甲：为什么?
乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱
.THE ANT AND THE DOVE
蚂蚁和鸽子
One hot day,an ant was searching for some water.After walking around for some time,she came to a spring.
To reach the spring,she had to climb up a blade of grass.While making her way up,she slipped and fell into the water.
She could have drowned if a dove up a nearby tree had not seen her.Seeing that the ant was in trouble,the dove quickly plucked off a leaf and dropped it into the water near the struggling ant.The ant moved towards the leaf and climbed up there.Soon it carried her safely to dry ground.
Just at that time,a hunter nearby was throwing out his net towards the dove,hoping to trap it.
Guessing what he was about to do,the ant quickly bit him on the heel.Feeling the pain,the hunter dropped his net.The dove was quick to fly away to safety.
MORAL:One good turn deserves another.
2.A Simple Gesture 举手之劳
Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying,along with two sweaters,a baseball bat,a glove and a small tape recorder.Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles.Since they were going the same way,he helped to carry part of the burden.As they walked Mark discovered the boy"s name was Bill,that he loved video games,baseball and history,and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.They arrived at Bill"s home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television.The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk,then Mark went home.They continued to see each other around school,had lunch together once or twice,then both graduated from junior high school.They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years.Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation,Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met."Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill."You see,I cleaned out my locker because I didn"t want to leave a mess for anyone else.I had stored away some of my mothers sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide.But after we spent some time together talking and laughing,I realized that if I had killed myself,I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow.So you see,Mark,when you picked up those books that day,you did a lot more,you saved my life."
-John W.Schlatter (true story)
订刊读后感
订刊读后感
五莲县实验小学五年级七班冯翌晨
HELO,大家好，我是你们的知识宝贝——小订刊，我有许多伙伴，有当代小学生、小葵花、故事宝库，我是小学生文摘。我的知识丰富吗？当然，我可丰富极了。
“是啊，你的知识真丰富。改天把它传授给我呗。”想要我的知识，就订小学生文摘。
一天我纠缠爸爸订小学生文摘，爸爸只好答应，我订了一年的书刊心里乐开了花。当收到刊物时，心里像喝了美酒似的。我打开看着就入迷了，里面的知识太丰富了，其中有一篇很精彩，对我以后的学习生活有很大的帮助，这就是好习惯的标准，养成好习惯要有十个必备条件：诚信守信；尊重别人；规范行为；不忘责任；学会生存；健康第一；物归原处；勇于表达；成功必备；喜欢清洁这是个条件你具备吗？这条件作用大着呢！对将来有好成就。付出也是一种幸福，从这句话，从这篇文章中，无论是谁有付出，都叫幸福，用自己的方式去报答，虽然不一定是最好的，但却是真的。你们见过巫婆吗？没有，巫婆失业了，哎只是个童话，如果你改装穿巫婆的衣服走在街上，街上的人会魂飞魄散，几秒钟，街上的人就无影无踪了，你别害怕这只是个故事。每一刊都拥有快乐搞笑的笑话，让你笑掉大牙。
小学生文摘我认为是一些刊物中最棒的书刊。记住，看好书，就选小学生文摘。小学生文摘是你的良师益友。
跪求适合小学生六年级朗诵的小故事（不是英语故事,最好能在3分钟之内讲完!
不要笑话,字数500字左右,童话故事也行
从前有个旅店贴了一张广告,上面写着：“下雨天留客天留客不留.”一位旅客走上来,要求住店.店主指着广告说：“你没看见写的广告：‘下雨天,留客天,留客?不留.’”客人说：“我看见了.广告说得清楚：‘下雨天,留客天.留客不?留!’”
其实,这句话还有另外两种句读方式：一种是疑问句式：“下雨天,留客天,留客不留?”一种是陈述句式：“下雨天,留客,天留,客不留.”
先生的字据
从前,有个财主非常吝啬.一次他为儿子请一位教书先生.在讲待遇时,先生知道他平素对人很刻薄.就动了心思,和他立了个字据,上面写道：
无米面亦可 无鸡鸭亦可 无鱼肉亦可 无银钱亦可
财主看了非常高兴,他想先生用膳不讲究,而且不用掏学费,感到是占了大便宜.到了年底,先生要找财主算账.财主哪里肯给,二人就一同到县衙去打官司.县官让财主将字据念了一遍；财主就按所立的字据念了一遍,先生却按标点的停顿念了一遍,这样就念成了：
无米,面亦可；
无鸡,鸭亦可；
无鱼,肉亦可；
无银,钱亦可.
财主一听傻了眼,只得将学费和饭钱付给了先生.
传说,清朝末年,慈禧太后请一位着名的书法家为她的扇子题诗.那位书法家写的是唐朝王之涣的诗《凉州词》：
黄河远上白云间,一片孤城万仞山.
羌笛何须怨杨柳,春风不度玉门关.
由于疏忽,书法家忘写了“间”字.慈禧大怒,要杀他.那位书法家急中生智,连忙解释道：“老佛爷息怒,这是用王之涣的诗意填的一首词.”并当场断句,读给慈禧听：
“黄河远上,白云一片,孤城万仞山.羌笛何须怨?杨柳春风,不度玉门关.”
慈禧听了,转怒为喜,连声称妙.
巧改对联
从前有个老进士,他的儿子也中了进士,于是他好得意,准备第二天大宴宾客,进行庆祝,并亲自撰写了一副对联,贴于大门外.上联是“父进士,子进士,父子进士”,下联为“婆夫人,媳夫人,婆媳夫人”.由于这老进士平时为富不仁,仗着自家有财有势,经常欺男霸女、鱼肉乡里,百姓对他无不恨之入骨.其中有个秀才见了这副对联顿时计上心来,决定要捉弄一下老进士以解心中恶气.于是,他趁黑夜把这副对联的“士”字下面一横加长,把“夫”家添了一撇,“人”字加了两横.
第二天,老进士请来的宾客都来了,大家一见这副对联,都交头接耳,偷偷暗笑.老进士闻讯出来一看,只见对联变成了“父进土,子进土,父子进土；婆失夫,媳失夫,婆媳失夫.”
那老进士在众人面前出了丑,不由得大叫一声,昏了过去,百姓们则拍手称快
以笑为题目的作文,要求400字左右
适合小学生的
《笑》
“哈哈”是大笑.嘴成为月亮的弯弧是微笑,藐视别人是讥笑,笑又许许多多,如小宝宝有时会傻笑.笑,代表许多含义.当你听到别人和你讲笑话时,你会笑；当你做对了一件事时而感到高兴时会笑；当你在大庭广众之下做错事,别人会讥笑,自己而是苦笑,陪笑.当你在什么情况下都会发出各种类型,各种声音的笑.
笑不光属于人,也属于动物植物,地球的每一个角落.
来到动物园,大象卷着鼻子,笑眯眯的迎接人们.海豚面带微笑为人表演节目.老虎大吼几声,虽然它不会文静的笑,但大笑也是善意的.猴子上窜下跳人们给它吃食物,它边双手捧着食物,向你鞠躬,这时你叫它怎么笑,它就怎么笑.小狗：“汪!汪!汪!”的叫是因为又人们为它的表演捧场,而你欣喜若狂的：“笑!”
人们为公园里的树木浇水,一阵微风轻轻浮过树木的“脸庞”凉凉的,他们也会笑,他们笑得十分开心,不光微自己笑还微人们笑.当人们要踩小草,有一位爱护花草树木的人提醒他,小草也会笑,笑的很欣慰,因为人们终于懂得爱护它了.
世界上每一个角落每一分每一秒,都将有无数人会笑,因为他们得到了快乐,得到了幸福,才会笑.
笑,我爱你!因为你使我们的生活更加多姿多彩,充实,快乐.笑——不单单是一个表情,也是人们传达感情的桥梁
.嘴成为月亮的弯弧是微笑,藐视别人是讥笑,笑又许许多多,如小宝宝有时会傻笑.
笑,代表许多含义.当你听到别人和你讲笑话时,你会笑；当你做对了一件事时而感到高兴时会笑；当你在大庭广众之下做错事,别人会讥笑,自己而是苦笑,陪笑.当你在什么情况下都会发出各种类型,各种声音的笑.
笑不光属于人,也属于动物植物,地球的每一个角落.
小学英语小故事
要非常的长.要故事,不是笑话.要可爱点的,参赛需要.
Once upon a time,there were four mice that lived in a wall in the field.
Summer was coming,and so the mice came out of the wall to collect berries,nuts,corn and straw.Everyone was working very hard,day and night.Everyone was working very hard,except,Frederick.
“Why aren’t you working,Frederick?” his friends asked him.“oh,but I am.” Frederick told them.“I’m collecting the sunshine for the cold,dark winter.”
A few days later his friends asked him again “why aren’t you working,Frederick?” “Oh,but I am.” Frederick told them.“I’m collecting colors for the long,grey winter.”
A few days later his friends asked him again “why aren’t you working,Frederick?” “Oh,but I am.” Frederick told them.“I’m collecting words for the long,quiet winter.”
Soon,the first snow came,and the four mice went back into the wall.They ate their berries and they ate their nuts and they ate their corn and they ate their straw.But time passed,and time passed,and soon there were no more berries,and soon there were no more nuts and soon there were no more corn and soon there were no more straw.
Now the winter was cold and dark,long and quiet.The mice were sad and hungry.Then they remembered Frederick.
“Hey,Frederick,can you show us what you collected for the winter.”
“Ok,” said Frederick,“close your eyes.Here is my sunshine for the cold,dark winter.” And Frederick began to tell his friends some stories,and the mice to feel warmer and warmer.
“Great,Frederick!How about the colors and the words?”
“Ok,” said Frederick,“close your eyes” and he told them about the blue skies,and he told them about the red poppies,and he told them about the green grass,and he told them about the purple berries,and he told them about the yellow corn of summer.
“That’s wonderful,Frederick,thank you.” Said the mice.“We’ve learned something about you”,they told him.
What do you think they learned?
